This post was originally published in https://ateneamar.com/ on 21/3/2024, in Spanish. A few opinions may have evolved since then—because growth, aging, and changing your mind are all part of the fun.
My hair has been through everything. I dyed it countless colors, straightened it, curled it, played with it, enjoyed it. To me, hair is an accessory—you can wear it or not, like a bracelet or a great pair of shoes. It’s something you can play with to express your personality, and believe me… I played. A lot.
I realized that my best eras were when my hair was jet black. They say blondes have more fun, and I respectfully disagree. My black hair came with the personality of a strong woman—with character, but also fun. Some people remember me from that time as @lamalamujer, the Instagram handle I used back then. Blonde? Meh. Neither here nor there.
There was a honey-blonde shade I loved once—I even have photos of it at the Teotihuacán pyramids. Conchita, my favorite stylist in Mazatlán, never managed to recreate that exact tone again. And while I loved it, I think it made me look a little too… average.
In my youth—before 20—I had a brief green hair phase. I’m including photographic evidence of my mistakes. I very casually bought a blue vegetable dye at the Tianguis Cultural in Guadalajara, and since my hair was already light, it turned into peacock green. I clearly forgot my primary colors class. That color was not me. It added nothing to who I am. It lives on as a permanent reminder of what not to do ever again.
The only color I don’t have photos of is when I tried to dye my hair gray—but my natural base pulls very coppery, so it never turned into the platinum I wanted.
I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.
Then came red. And WOW. If you’ve ever been curious about red hair and you’ve never had it—go dye your hair red right now. The effect red hair has on the world is unreal. People stopped me on the street just to tell me how cool my hair was. And with red hair, I caught my now-husband. I hypnotized him. I bewitched him.
Everything is fun and games until the grays start showing up. Because it’s one thing when your brown roots grow in and you say, “Ugh, time for a touch-up.” But when my roots started coming in gray? I was horrified every time I looked in the mirror.
I was exhausted from seeing my roots by week three and feeling like I was already late for a retouch. I was just tired. And my blond husband would say, “Don’t dye it anymore, you’re beautiful either way.” And I’d say, “Yeah, yeah, that’s what everyone says. Don’t dye it, don’t get surgery—but your eyes still follow the girls with lash extensions and implants. I know the drill.”
And then it hit me: the person I need to like is me. Aging does absolutely nothing to me—I do everything in life at my own pace, not according to society’s boring timeline. I started imagining myself with full salt-and-pepper hair, maybe even long and healthy for once. After all the damage I put my hair through, by the time it grew, I had to cut it again.
And then came the real realization: what scared me wasn’t looking old—it was looking unkempt. That still terrifies me. But what does “taking care of yourself” really mean? How many ways are there to do that?
Here’s proof that the wind doesn’t mess with Juárez.
So on July 1st of last year, I walked into an American salon and told the stylist I wanted highlights because I wasn’t going to dye my hair anymore—I wanted to camouflage the grow-out. It didn’t turn out exactly how I imagined, but the decision was already made. And here I am now, with a Duvalín head (because the last dye still hasn’t fully grown out). And you know what? I’m happy.
I’m excited that next year I’ll cut it, and for the first time in decades my hair will be clean and healthy. I’m excited to wear a great dress, part my hair to the side, and show off my grays—grays that are special because they started when I was 20. Not everyone has the grays I have at my age. That makes me feel unique. Wearing them with pride makes me feel spectacular.
July 1, 2023 — the last day I dyed my hair.
And you know what? My friends who are slaves to hair dye—or even my mom—make me feel tender toward them. They’re not free, not even in their own minds, and that honestly makes me sad. It makes me sad that aging is associated with being rotten or useless. It makes me sad that more people aren’t saying: “Hey—did you know dyeing your hair is optional? Did you know you don’t need to dye it to be beautiful?”
Maybe you know. But do you really know how amazing it feels to accept something so beautiful about yourself—your genetics? What makes me special is how I’m different from everyone else, and I enjoy that more than I ever enjoyed red hair.
And you know what else I enjoy? Watching people try to guess my age and fail. I behave like I’m 20, my head looks like I’m 45, and they’re stunned by the gray hair with the red lipstick. I love that about my 37-year-old self with salt-and-pepper hair. It’s what gives my current style its flavor. And since hair is an accessory, I’m still playing.
Yes, I felt fabulous with freshly dyed hair—but I never want to look in the mirror again and dislike myself just because I’m overdue for a touch-up.
So… how do I take care of it?
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission if you purchase through them. I only recommend products I use, have used, or truly want to try.
Right now, for shampoo and conditioner, I use Native, but I also like Beauty and Planet. Both are paraben-free, vegan, and sulfate-free. I especially love Native because they have unique scents—yes, even a Girl Scout cookie-scented shampoo.
I used L’Oréal Ever Pure for a while to tone my dyed hair so the contrast with the grays wouldn’t be as noticeable. It’s the classic purple shampoo our grandmas used—but this is the one I used.
These keratin capsules—I apply them once a week. They leave my hair soft, shiny, smell amazing, and the capsule dissolves in hot water. MAREE Hair Styling Serum.
The only comb I use is a bamboo comb.
For styling, I use Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk.
I don’t know if you heard, but during the January 22 flood we lost everything. Before that, I had a CHI flat iron and I loved it. Now I’m considering a Dyson… but I’m not sure. Recommend one to me.
Oh—and I’m dying to try this maca and collagen hair mask I saw in a video that supposedly eliminates all frizz.